Sometimes it’s easier for an ex to drop subtle hints about reconciliation rather than coming right out with it. It also has to do with the case of “being wrong”. If she’s having second thoughts but only a few weeks ago, raving about her certainly to not be with you, she might feel silly now if she is begging to come back.
Your job, if this is the case, is to ease the transition as much as you can so there is no harm in admitting she might have been “wrong” in any case. On the other hand, be careful it’s not just wishful thinking on your part from wanting to get back together.
Often the lines of what is “appropriate” can be blurred between exes and it’s best to understand what the “right” signals are without jumping to conclusions.
#1 She expresses more interest in you than any other men in her life.
If she is dating or hanging out with other guys but still reaching out to you often, this could be a sign she is still interested in you. The only warning is that, sometimes women will string an ex along until the “right” guy comes. You can tell whether she is genuine if she is actively seeking other guys. If she is not, it means she is happy to have you as her No. 1 whether she knows it or not.
#2 She continues to remain in contact and initiate contact with you.
Showing an interest in you and your life is a great sign she still wants to remain in your life. It also shows that if she cares enough about you to want to keep in contact, that means she sees a future with you also. Whether it’s merely as friends is not of a big concern as friendship can be a great stepping stone to a romantic relationship. (Note the use of the word “can be”.)
#3 When you are together there is still strong evidence of chemistry between the two of you.
Strong chemistry can come through in different ways; one is a great deal of passion in your interactivity. We’re addicted to emotions and if your conversations are stimulating and emotion-driven, it’s a great sign that those feelings could develop into more.
Just be weary that it’s not all negative emotions when you talk!
#4 She brings up the past often about the two of you.
Bringing up the past, especially in a positive light is a great example which shows she is thinking of you “together”! If she is thinking of wonderful moments and/or even attempting to re-enact those moments with you, it’s a sign she is thinking of getting back together. The only thing to be careful about is that:
- They are indeed pleasurable moments.
- Not due to any consumption of alcohol or other substance.
#5 She is being more honest and letting her guard down around you.
Often after a break up, people will close up and stop sharing much of themself with the other person. If she is slowly revealing more and more of herself, especially in how she is feeling, it’s a great chance to show you care by paying close attention to those feelings she’s sharing with you.
At the same time, if she is reaching out to you, make sure to give a little back as this may be her way of slowly testing whether you’re still interested in her. You want to be honest here and not deceive in any way. This is especially important if there were trust issues raised during your relationship.
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{ 2 comments… read them below or add one }
I hope my ex read this so he could know that I am totally completely over him..cuz I think that he thinks that he still have a chance and he dont even if he beg on his knees and buys me a 20carat diamond ring..i would still say no..he is ugly, lame, cheap, jerkish, immature, stupid and bold..he keeps on tryna talk to me and call me and text me n stuff…ewww
Hello, Me and my girlfriend met 18 months ago, we liked each other from the start and fell deeply inlove, we got engaged 11 months later and spent a week in cyprus with her family for her uncles wedding, We had an amazing time and enjoyed going away together.
She had a bad past with ex’s hurting her mentally or physically or cheating on her, she met a friend who helped her out abit, they tried to be more than friends before i came along once but it got to a week and never worked out at all, she slept with him once and faked an orgasm as she didn’t enjoy it(supposibly), they remained friends after until i wasn’t happy with the friendship, she stopped talking to him in january when she got pregnant with my baby, we failed to talk about it properly and cos i thought she wanted to get rid of it i kept my feelings to myself, i had no one to talk to as she didn’t want my family to know, her parents said the best thing is to get rid of it but i believe it was for their own selfish reasons but i could be wrong.
We did so much together, went everywhere and had so many happy days and memories together, She got upset one day cos she felt i was keeping a friend that meant alot to her (as a friend) and i let her talk again, i admit at times i did feel abit jealous and insecure due to my past, i was hurt badly in a previous relationship and the one with my ex meant alot to me as she did, she was my world and still is.
She understood but not sure if she meant it.
Just before xmas last year my ex-fiancee went on my msn and saw i had messages on my face book, she then checked it and got upset and we had a big fall out, i never noticed the messages, even when i went on my profile but then i never checked the inbox etc. i found out it was an old friend who had a big grudge on me and messaged these different girls, he managed to hack into my profile and even gave my number out that my other friends may of given to due to a previous argument, their was also some to my cousins fiancee which was me, i chatted to her normally but the same as my family and friends etc we say hun, babe etc which we have done for years and years, but cos her family and where she lives is different she took it as me being affectionate towards them.
I also commented on a cousins photo saying “love the nurses uniform” as a joke and sent a message starting with ” Hey gorgeous” but cos she believed i loved my cousin (who is a step cousin) she got jealous and said it was sick!
She told me friday night (30.01.09)that she loved her friend but as a friend and that she loved me more and in the way of love/relationship, when she left she was upset, then saturday i asked if she loved me as a partner still and she said yes, i did text abit and ask her sister things for a couple of days instead of leaving it abit, i just didn’t think or take advice but when you’ve been with someone so long, engaged and deeply inlove it’s hard to just not talk to her or see her etc.. then sunday she said we’re never getting back together again and told my mum on the friday that she just doesn’t love me anymore and hasn’t done for awhile.
I know deep down it’s not how she feels, she just has so much on her mind and is angry with me at the moment and i don’t know why, maybe she just needs to be angry with me for abit or something..
In the past her dad had an affair and she took her mums side, ever since she lost trust and her father treating her different and always being in a mood with her accusing her at times of not loving him affected her, same as her past boyfriends and the stress she got at previous jobs, at her current job she always had her dad there for support, he left to go to another depot and all she gets is everyone’s problems and complaints at work every day, she has to work long hours and it tires her out alot.
I am the only guy or one of the few people that treated her right, looked after her, loved her dearly and we spent alot on each other and had such a good time, we spent all our time together, weekends, one day in the week and we always shopped together, whenever she was short of money or had problems i was there to help her as she did help me at times.
I hope i didn’t ruin things in those couple of days and hope she is just having a bad time, whether it’s cos she can’t handle being treated right at the moment cos of the past or whether they’res another reason.
Do i still have a chance with her or what can i do?? Do people have these moments in life etc??