If you’re going through a nasty break up right now, it’s likely your ex girlfriend has felt a disconnect much before your break up.

An emotional disconnect happens first before she is comfortable with separating from you physically. Your natural tendency to mend your own broken-heart and rejection is to bridge that gap through an act of over-reaching.

You want to “make up” for whatever you feel she felt was lacking in the relationship by now acting overly loving, overly communicative and overly abundant in emotions and romance. Whatever you feel a need to make up for, you’ll now want to lay it on her tenfold.

Well, this excess of attention is a natural reaction to your own rejected ego.

However there are consequences for laying on too much of something too quickly. As I have mentioned, an emotional disconnect happens first and once this has been established, and whether she knows it consciously or not, she will “resist” certain behaviours from you before she will allow her walls to come down.

The confusing part is some women will choose to leave just to receive that extra bit of attention from you. However, this is often in the minority and unless you are 100% sure the reason she left was due to a lack of attention, you’ll need to adapt a different approach if you want to win her back.

In essence there is also another negative appeal to your excess over-reaching; it cries out that you’re desperate and can’t live without her.

Perhaps that is true and maybe you think that will somehow appeal to her.

Unfortunately, it’s great to tell a girl you can’t live without her “during” a romantic relationship, but it’s a completely different ballgame when you’re NOT in a relationship.

What this is essentially telling her is that you’re “weak” and not “man” enough to handle life without a girl by your side. It also puts her in quite an awkward and undesirable position because she already feels guilty from the break up and now you’re wanting to make her feel more guilty.

Resist the urge to be desperate and indulge in the pity-me attitude.

Remember, your “reaction” to the break up will determine the possibility of her coming back. There is a small window of opportunity after each break up which gives you the biggest chance to get her back. Screwing things up too many times will let you stack up a whole heap of negative points which close that window more each time.

Stop being desperate for her and instead be strong about anything she dishes at you.

You can show your love and care without needing to be desperate and it’s that quiet and confident attitude that she will admire from you.

Resist acting desperate, this includes:

• Repeatedly telling her you love her.
• Repeatedly apologizing for anything and everything.
• Calling and contacting her non-stop.
• Asking and begging, pleading for her to give you another chance.
• Asking all the time why she left and not being satisfied with ANY answer she gives you.

Instead adopt the behaviour of a reassured and confident man who doesn’t need anyone else to complete him:

• Assure her you still care and love her but you will also be fine without her.
• Stand up for yourself if you feel she is starting to treat you like a doormat.
• Practice No Contact and remain in NC with consistency.
• Keep your word – whatever you say, make sure you stick to it and never break a promise (provided its in line with everything above).

Want a solid plan to get her back? Find out how you can gain the confidence you need before she decides to find another guy who DOES have the confidence to take her away. How to Get Her Back For Good.